waterbird13:

That’s a really, really tough position to be in, Nonnie. Do you have any other family that can step in and help out, at least take some of the load off of you?

I’m sorry, I don’t have any experience in this area at all and won’t be of much help. Perhaps try to see if their are any local groups, meetings, or services that can offer you some support, direction, or whatever it is they can get for you? This is a really heavy, unfair burden placed on you, and I really hope you can get some help with it.

If your grandmother is at the point of wandering, leaving doors open, cutting herself with razors, and other poor judgment/unsafe behaviors like you’re describing, and you’re the only person providing her care, eventually you’re not going to be able to keep her safe anymore.  If she’s being that unsafe, you should also consider that she may not have the cognitive capacity to make reasonably sound legal and medical decisions.  In which case, she shouldn’t be the person to make the decision about whether or not to be placed in a skilled nursing facility.  

If you’re here in the States, you can contact Adult Protective Services.  Most states have services to PREVENT abuse and neglect before it happens, and will help you intervene on your grandmother’s behalf to make sure that she’s in a safe environment.  They can help you get access to resources and identify appropriate placements. 

If you’re not in the States or don’t feel comfortable talking to APS, you could also make an appointment with your grandmother’s doctor and ask them to get an assessment of her cognitive capacity and have them point you in the right direction for the next step you need to take. Her doctor may not be able to tell you much about your grandmother’s medical care because of patient privacy rights, but you can talk to them and ask their advice all you want.  

All this takes time, though. The wheels move slowly and there are more people in need than places for them to go.  Start soon.