drst:

when-it-rains-it-snows:

do you even see this shit? Do you? This is helvetica. Helvetica fuckwit Neue asslord 55 Roman. Do you see how the 5 is all crammed up the ass of the one? Get in there, 5. Fuck. #rimming. Meanwhile, the 00 pair is chilling five feet apart because they’re not gay. #nohomo

I hate helvetica. Words fail me. No, that’s a lie, I’ve got plenty: you think comic sans is bad? At least it kerns without drama. I am using Flexisign, which gives me kerning override modes that are absolutely broadsword swinging brutal, and that still isn’t enough to make helvetica behave. Helvetica is a white woman who doesn’t like her chin length bob and wants to speak to the manager. There is no way to satisfy this font. It is the worst.

When I die, and hand kerning over 1000 signs will probably do it, because even when kerned well it’s still ugly, literally we’re polishing a turd here,

please put helvetica on my headstone.

Absolutely do this. I will rise from my own ashes like a phoenix of fuck this font, and there will be fire. If you are among the spared, aka people who understand that helvetica is bullshit and you really need to use anything else, avenir, ANYTHING (except Arial, seriously, fuck you for even asking that),

It’s possible, but no promises, that you will be able to weave a web of Bleeding Cowboys to contain me, because that drama ass font with all its guyliner never fails to make me laugh.

Why this font became the go-to of everyfuckingthing is beyond me

There is a surprisingly-indepth answer to that question.