Fun fact: The “friendzone” is real. It’s called unrequited love. It’s a major literary trope and the source of countless poetry.

mr-prism:

enscenic:

scifiscribbler:

lightspeedsound:

cognitivedissonance:

agoodcartoon:

the-cat-who-walks-through-walls:

thisblogisfortherats:

the-cat-who-walks-through-walls:

agoodcartoon:

And the medieval chunk of the poetry you’re talking about is entirely based around the idea that love ennobles, and so if one loves but is not loved in return, because the woman is married or trapped in a tower or THIRTEEN GODDAMNED YEARS OLD, one is obligated to go out into the world and use that love as a catalyst to do great and good things.

The “friendzone” narrative cannibalizes this, because it replaces the story of Working Your Passion On The World To Make It Better with the story of Working Your Passion On Some Judgemental Cockteasing Bitch Because Something Something My Penis.

somehow i cant imagine a fuckboy sitting down and composing a ghazal

…damnit, don’t make me hope

don’t make me hope to one day see a poem where just over half the lines end in “because something something my penis”

don’t do that to me

what ungrateful bitch has put me in the friend zone?
who spurned my love, just as i was in the end zone?

m’lady, i tipped the fedora of my heart your way –

believe me, my love was no pretend zone

i felt euphoric for days, with your attention,

now here i languish, alone, in the condemned zone

That’s it, agoodcartoon is a goddamn poet for the ages.

Forsooth, mine love, why can’t you doth see me?
Through the chains of jocks which hast trapped thee?

My fedora displays knowledge and class
Unlike yon alpha male’s firm, tonéd ass

My insults will pique your interests with ease
Since a true meninist shan’t deign to please

You can’t know what a Nice Guy’s true love is
Because friendzone, something, something penis

I will never, ever get the friend zone as a concept. It’s utterly stupid.

ha ha ha ha ha ha!

“My lady, the strings of my heart you’ve been plucking
But instead of my junk it’s that hunk that you’re fucking
Your heart is as cold as a frozen ice block
Because you will not something something my cock”

“I can’t believe you really thought we’d be friends
Can’t you see I’ve been nice for ulterior ends
The fact that you don’t live to fuck me is sick
You’re worthless to me something something my dick”

These are the thoughts of a million douchebags
Who deserve to hump nothing but crusty cumrags
She’s a goddess, you dolt, she’s a modern day Venus
There is more to love than something something your penis.

Hahahahahahahahahaha

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